Friday Funny

I am totally stealing  this from Amy L. Marxkors from the Fleet Feet Sports website.

It is awesome and I would be lying if I said many of them didn’t apply to me. Enjoy…

“So, what pace are you hoping to run?”
Translation: “Are you competition?” 

“Oh, you’re from around here? What school did you go to? What year did you graduate?”
Translation: “Are you in my age group?”

“Me too!”
Translation: “You’re in my age group and I hate you.”

“So, what’s your PR?”
Translation: “I’m comparing myself to you, and suddenly my confidence in my own ability is somehow related to your best time.”

“Wow! That is really fast.”
Translation: “I didn’t think you were that fast.”

“Wow! That’s awesome.”
Translation: “I thought you were faster.”

“My training hasn’t been great.”
Translation: “Training has been my life for the past eighteen weeks.”

“I’m just hoping to finish.”
Translation: “I will PR or die.”

“Nice to meet you! Good luck!”
Translation: “My new goal in life is to beat you in this race.”

“I’ll try to hang with you as long as I can.”
Translation: “I will drive you into the ground.”

“I hit the wall hard. I don’t think I fueled properly.”
Translation: “I went out too fast.”

“I don’t know what happened.”
Translation: “I went out too fast.”

“I was on pace for the first twenty miles, but then I hit the wall. Training wasn’t great. I’ve been battling an injury. And I just got over being sick. Guess it all caught up to me.”
Translation: “I went out too fast.”

“I’m just running this race for fun.”
Translation: “My eternal happiness hinges on the outcome of this race.”

“Yeah, I did twenty this morning.”
Translation: “Can you believe I just ran twenty freakin’ miles? I’m amazing.”

“I’m starving!”
Translation: “I’m hungry because I just ran twenty freakin’ miles. I’m amazing.”

“My hamstrings got a little tight.”
Translation: “I’ve lost the ability to bend at the waist.”

“My Achilles has been acting up lately.”
Translation: “About ten weeks ago, I blew out my Achilles, but I’m still running on it.”

“I took some time off to let it heal.”
Translation: “I didn’t run last Thursday.”

“Yeah, I’ll get it looked at after the race.”
Translation: “I will wait for it to go away on its own.”

“Yeah, I should probably see a doctor.”
Translation: “I will not see a doctor.”

“I get irritable if I don’t run.”
Translation: “If I don’t run, I may or may not become homicidal.”

“Yeah, I enjoy running.”
Translation: “Let’s hope I never have to choose between running and my firstborn.”

“You run, too? That’s awesome. What distances do you like to race?”
Translation: “I sense a potential threat to my age group/gender placement.”

“That’s right at my pace!”
Translation: “It’s on, buddy. Bring it.”

“I’m not training for anything right now.”
Translation: “I’m always training.”

“Today was a recovery run, so I didn’t even pay attention to pace.”
Translation: “I know exactly how slow I ran, but I refuse to tell you because it is not representative of my ability.”

“Today is a light day, so I’m probably going to run six or eight.”
Translation: “I’m going to run six miles. But I usually run further. Why couldn’t you have asked me how far I ran yesterday after my long run?”

“The race went really well. I felt good.”
Translation: “I had the race of my life. Please ask for details. I want to tell you how awesome I am.”

“The race didn’t go well. But it happens, you know?”
Translation: “No, you don’t know. You will never, ever be able to comprehend how awful it was. I cried. I puked. I walked. I had diarrhea. My body hates me. The sport hates me. The world hates me. I trained for four months for this? WHY ME? WHY?

“I think I just need to take a break from training for a while.”
Translation: “I’ve already signed up for my next race.”

“It was really hot.”
Translation: “You don’t understand how hot it was.”

“It was really windy.”
Translation: “You don’t understand how windy it was.”

“It was really hilly.”
Translation: “You don’t understand how hilly it was.”

“I pushed hard the last two hundred meters. I almost peed my pants!”
Translation: “I totally peed my pants.”

“Yes, we should meet up for coffee tomorrow morning!’
Translation: “After I run.”

“Yes, let’s take the kids to the zoo on Saturday!”
Translation: “After I run.”

“I need to pick up some more GU.”
Translation: “I’m one gel packet away from an episode of Hoarders.”

“….point two. Twenty-six point two.”
Translation: “Seriously. Forget the ‘point two’ one more time, and I’ll be forced to punch you.”

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One comment

  1. LOVE IT!! Reminds me of what goes on in my head when I’m asked, “How did it go?” and I simply respond, “ok…Could’ve been better” in regards to IMFL….in my head there is an hour dissertation going on about why it sucked so bad in ways that had nothing to do with ability or fitness! 😉 good stuff!!!

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